Menu

Saying Goodbye to Betty White

I’ve always been absolutely in love with dogs. When I was a little girl, I always got so excited to visit the dogs at the pet store. To this day, whenever I see a dog on the street, I squeal and flail and make “boop boop boop!” noises like a total nutcase. I’m sure this will make me sound a bit crazy, but if I had it my way, there would be a lot less people in the world and a lot more dogs. If I’m in a bad mood or depressed for some reason, you can find me Googling strange dog-related phrases, like: “puppy wearing a top hat” or “Boston Terrier with glasses.” A cute puppy picture will cheer me up instantly and make me forget whatever I was upset about.


A few days after adopting Betty White.

So, having to admit to myself that I needed to find my dog and best friend of 4.5 years a new home, was heartbreaking to say the least. When I think of waking up without having Betty White sleeping nearby in her bed, my heart sinks and I feel like I’ve had the wind knocked out of my chest. Betty White has been with me through thick and thin and is family to me, so to have to say goodbye to her for good and make this sacrifice is going to be the hardest thing I’ve ever done.

Unfortunately, Betty has been spending her days barking and scratching away at her crate non-stop. Our neighbor wrote us a polite letter asking for us to please help calm her down in any way that we can. If it wasn’t for him, we wouldn’t have realized she is still barking when we’re out at work. It’s not a matter of her being locked away in a crate, because even if she is given complete freedom in our apartment when we’re gone, she is even more scared and scratches away at every possible surface until her paws are bleeding. Pete and I feel like prisoners in our apartment because we don’t want to cause our neighbors stress with her constant barking, and we also don’t want her to be so scared and upset to have us gone. I haven’t spent time with my friends in months because I’m scared to leave for more than 5 minutes.

We’ve had to take her to Pete’s work office on the weekend if we committed to plans, so she can bark without disturbing our neighbors. Luckily Pete’s job has been really understanding in that way, and my job has allowed me to bring Betty to work this week so she’s not alone all day long and barking. Although Betty’s confidence has grown a ton over the past few months due to her going through training, she is still living a very stressful existence and absolutely exhausted from barking by the time I come home.

I hate seeing her so stressed and going through pain, so it became more and more clear that I had to put my emotions aside and put her first. She needs someone who can give her a normal routine and a life with more attention. We give her a ton of attention and all of the love in the world, but it is still not enough at the end of the day. I know she can live a much happier life with someone who could help build her confidence and socialize her on a daily basis. I don’t think I’d trust anyone besides our dog trainer, Dave Cugno, to take her in as his own. Which is why when he graciously offered, we made the decision to give Betty White a better life. A life with stability and 24/7 attention and the best doggy education a gal could ever ask for. Instead of spending her days in the crate barking, shaking and scratching to try to cope with her owners being gone, she will be able to spend her days with a pack of dogs and surrounded by people who understand how to communicate with her. People who can help her improve and smile more and more every day (dogs totally smile).

I know Dave will give her the life she deserves and as much as it breaks my heart to say goodbye, I know it is for the best for her. It just seems right. It doesn’t seem right dragging her to a doggie daycare every day when I know how terrified they make her. It doesn’t seem right to put her through the stress of dealing with anti-bark collars. It doesn’t seem right to move to a new apartment where neighbors won’t be bothered by barking, because she will still be stressed and unhappy at the end of the day.

I really can’t form the words to express how much Betty White means to me. I’m going to miss so much about her. I’m going to miss brushing my teeth at night with Pete and seeing her rub her face all over the couch, trying to get attention from us by creating the most epic doggie bed head ever. I’m going to miss her lifting her head up from her pillow and making the cutest smoosh face. I’m going to miss taking her to the vet and having her nervously poop immediately in the lobby. I’m going to miss her jumping up to sit by me when I am upset and knowing how to cheer me up instantly. I’m going to miss dressing her in ridiculous bunny costumes and lobster hats. I’m going to miss giving her baths, when she refuses to put all 4 of her feet in the water. I’m going to miss having her prance around at night and jumping on my head in the mornings. I’m going to miss driving her to the pet store and picking up dog food together. I’m going to miss having her around for holidays and birthdays. I’m going to miss taking photos with her and Pete. I’m going to miss making squint-eyes at her with Pete to try to make her fall asleep in her chair. I’m going to miss giving her butt scritchers. I’m going to miss walking her in the park. I’m going to miss digging out a pee path for her in the snow. I’m going to miss finding a dog poop bag in my pocket and thinking of her. I’m going to miss seeing her dog toys that she has never played with. I’m going to miss how ecstatic she’d get when we gave her a Beggin’ Strip. I’m going to miss having a dog to spoil. I’m going to miss working from home with her on Fridays and cuddling on the couch. I’m going to miss trips in the car with her, even if she had horrible-smelling nervous farts. I’m going to miss having her sniff at the other pets we have and run away when they try to hump her. I’m going to miss having her eat the crumbs I drop when we’re making dinner. I’m going to miss petting her chin and hearing her make her “ooooo that feels good” grumbles.

I’m going to miss a million things, but I won’t make you read all of them. This weekend we are going to say goodbye to Betty White, which I never imagined having to do. I’m incredibly passionate about pets, especially rescue animals, so to say that I don’t feel like a bit of a failure would be lying. I feel like she is going to hate me forever or think that I’m giving up on her. I’m so worried she’s going to think she disappointed me in some way or think that people are just going to keep giving her up for adoption. This is easily the hardest thing I have ever had to do, and I will never be the same person, but I really feel like it’s the necessary step to give her a truly good life.

I am sure Pete and I will have a dog again one day in the future, when we own a home and when we can promise to be the best possible owners. When I adopted Betty I had no idea she had major separation anxiety and that she would require much more love and attention than your average dog, but I can safely say I tried my absolute best to give her everything I have to offer. I can’t say I’ll be squealing at dogs in the street again for a long time. I’m sure anything with four legs will remind me of Betty White and how much I miss her and how life isn’t the same without her scruffy cuteness around.

I am trying my hardest to be strong and not a total mess all week, but there hasn’t been a day that’s gone by since this decision that I haven’t broken down completely and started bawling. I love her so much and don’t know how life will be without her. I just know it will be different and I am incredibly grateful for everything I’ve learned from her since adopting her over 4 years ago.

Thank you to Pete for being there for me and being patient with my tears. Thank you so so much to Dave for being so selfless and giving Betty White the best possible home and life. I hope she will give you as much joy as she has given me over the past few years. We will miss her so much and think of her every day.

    33 Comments »

    Tags: , ,
    Posted in everyday life, family, pets

    33 Comments

    • As painful as it must be, it sounds like you’ve made the very best decision possible in an impossibly wrenching situation. Knowing that doesn’t make it any easier though. :(

      Reply

    • I’m so sorry Shannon :( You are doing the right thing for Betty White, but I know that it’s still not easy. You, Pete & Betty White are in my prayers. (((HUG)))

      Reply

    • I’m so so sorry Shannon. That sounds incredibly difficult, but you’ve done as much as you could for her, and it seems like a home with Dave is really an ideal opportunity for Betty White. But of course, that won’t make you miss her any less. So sorry you’re going through this heart-breaking situation.

      Reply

    • I’m going to miss her too. It’s going to be hard coming home and not have you welcome me with Betty in your arms to stop her barking.

      Reply

    • You are being so strong for both you and Betty White. Hugs to you and snuggles to her!

      Reply

    • I’m a frequent reader, but rarely comment, however, this entry tugged at my heartstrings & I had to pop on over & give you some virtual love. This must have been an achingly hard decision for you, but it sounds like you’re doing the most selfless thing for Betty White that you can do. You certainly didn’t fail–you gave her 4 1/2 years of incredible love, and she did the same for you! Finding a new home for her, and one with such a great atmosphere that will do wonders for her, is the best thing you possibly could have done for her–though I’m sure you know this. Will there be opportunities to visit her in her new home? If so, I think that’d be such a special opportunity that not a lot of people get when they have to find a new home for their pootch. I hope your days without Betty White are still just as joyful & memorable, and that even though you’ll miss all those things about her, you’ll remember them fondly! Animals truly do change our lives! (big virtual hug to you!)

      Reply

    • Maggie

      I’m so sorry Shannon. As a fellow dog lover I can only imagine how difficult this decision has been for you. I know that you have tried all that you could and you really are letting Betty White go to a home that can meet all her needs because you care so much about her. Betty White knows you love her and are doing this to make her life better. I know someday puppies will make you smile again and you’ll remember all the love and fun you had with her.

      Reply

    • Lindsay Mason

      I am sorry Shannon! It sounds like you are making the right decision even though it is difficult to do. I am here if you need anything.

      Reply

    • Gah. I am not going to lie. I only read the first paragraph of this post. Then I started sobbing. Like rediculously, I pray to God noone walks into my office right now, sobbing. I can’t imagine having to give up my pup EVER. So since I couldn’t read the rest I can’t really comment on anything else… just know you’re stronger then me. :)

      Reply

    • Oh my gosh! This breaks my heart! I’m so sorry you’re having to go through this, but it sounds like you’re making the right choice for you and for her. Perhaps you can still spend time with her every now and then (when/if you’re ready) since, I presume, you and Dave are friends?

      Reply

    • Danielle

      Oh my dear…

      I have watched your relationship with dear Betty over the last few years & I know how hard this must be for you. With animals, we can’t ask them, “What would you like me to do for you? What’ll work best for you?” That’s why they trust us as owners, because they can feel that we’ll make the right choices for them. In this case, you did the right thing. You should find lots of comfort in the person you’re giving her to. She will be happy & he’ll make sure she’s well adjusted. Dogs are extremely adaptable and she will have a happy life with him. You didn’t let her down, you’re rescuing her again.

      Utley (our new lab) has been shipped around from home to home and I can say that I’m so glad that things didn’t work out with his previous owners. He loves life with us here and we LOVE having him. We can give him things his other owners couldn’t & he seems to appreciate that.

      Just remember what you’re doing for her is out of love &make sure you give yourself credit for doing what will probably be one of the hardest things you’ll ever have to do. <3

      Reply

    • Oh Shannon, this is so heartbreaking. You are absolutely doing the right thing, and it’s clear you know that already. I cried reading this; I can imagine what you’re going through. I’ve really loved reading about all the work you’ve done with her because we have our own troubled Beast and it’s been reassuring to know we’re not alone. Daph came to us a bit more well-adjusted than Betty White, but I can understand if we were just a few steps away…

      Anyway, I am really, really sorry.

      Heh, I was watching 16 and Pregnant and the teenager was holding her baby who she had planned to give up for adoption, and crying and wanting to keep her. Her mother came over and said, “I support whatever you decide, but you need to decide for HER, not for YOU. It has to be for your baby.”

      You are clearly deciding for your baby, and it sounds like the best decision. Thinking of you.

      Reply

      • Thanks so much for your comment! I found myself relating this situation to the couple on Teen Mom that gave their child up for adoption…why are we such MTV nerds? Le sigh. Thanks again <3

        Reply

    • Kate Miller

      Oh Shans! I’m so sorry! *hugs* to you! :(

      Reply

    • Christie

      What an incredibly heartwrenching decision to have to make… my thoughts are with you.

      Reply

    • I’m so sorry.

      Reply

    • I can’t imagine the pain – I’ll echo what everyone else has said, that we know you’re making the best decision for Betty, even as it breaks your heart.

      Reply

    • Oh my dear, big big big hugs- xoxo

      I can’t imagine what you’re going through…but it definitely sounds like you are doing what is best for Betty White in the end, even though it isn’t exactly the happiest of choices for you :( I too would be bawling my eyes out constantly at the thought. I actually teared up while reading this. I hope that your trainer will keep you updated on her progress!

      Reply

    • I am so, so, so sorry! I know how hard you have worked with her over the past year – you didn’t give up on her! And I don’t think you’re giving up on her now – she is going to be so happy and stress free now! It is the right thing to do for you and for Betty White. Just cuddle her until the weekend and she will know how much you love her :)

      Reply

    • I love that you google “dog with glasses” sometimes. Too cute. I’m so sorry you have to find a new home for your baby!! It breaks my heart. You just have to remember that she will live a happier life in her new home. You are doing the right thing. Give her lots of kisses and attention before she goes to her new home. She’ll know that you love her, always!

      Reply

    • Shannon, I’m giddy about getting BW on Saturday. You have no idea how much I’m looking forward to helping BW grow into the dog I know she can be. As I’ve said before, my dogs are my whole entire life; she’ll be with me every day, all day. Because of her inherent sweetness, she will add an amazing personality dynamic to my pack. I am gladly taking the responsibility to make sure Betty White will enjoy a happy and well balanced life, with lots and lots of love and affection. Thank YOU.

      Reply

      • Thanks so much Dave, it means so much to have you adopt Betty and give her the life she deserves. I look forward to hearing how she adapts to the pack and I am sure she will grow more and more everyday.

        Reply

    • Boosh

      I don’t understand why you couldn’t have moved. I’m sorry you had to make this decision, but I have been in a similar situation twice before, and just moved. My pets are my family. I would never give them away. You make the necessary exceptions or you don’t become a pet owner. sorry if this is harsh, but you did make this open to comments.

      Reply

      • I don’t mind you not agreeing with everyone else. Moving to a new apartment wouldn’t help the problem. She would continue to bark and scratch at her cage and spend her days nervous and stressed. It’s not a healthy life for her and I believe 100% that it is in her best interest to make this move. We are giving her up for adoption to her trainer, who is incredibly knowledgeable in this field and will not only be able to spend 24/7 with her, but will also be able to help her gain confidence. Something I can’t promise her, no matter how much love and training I go through. If you’re going to make a harsh comment like that, at least have the balls to state your name.

        Reply

      • Dave

        Boosh,
        I’m sure your intention was good, but you have no idea how insecure this dog is. Shannon has an opportunity to give Betty White to someone whose whole life has been dedicated to helping dogs just like her. It’s a once in a lifetime opportunity , and could not be passed up. True love and dedication is when someone thinks of the dogs needs over their own. She is not giving up on her dog at all. She is allowing Betty White the best chance in the world to become normal. This is a completely unselfish act..very few people could do what Shannons doing

        Reply

    • oh shannon, i’m so sorry. i can only imagine how hard this must be. in the end though, it’s best for her (and for you guys!), and i know that one day you’ll find a pup that meshes with you guys perfectly.

      Reply

    • I’m so sorry, Shannon. I’m totally crying for you, because I’ve had to give up my pup (my baby!) before and it’s been four years and it still makes me cry. Mine was due to a breakup with an incredibly vindictive ex…I fought tooth and nail but he won either way. I know it sucks and it’s so hard to deal with, but I really believe you’re making the best decision. Dave seems like a great guy and Betty White will get the help she needs. HUGS.

      Reply

    • Monica

      I have known Dave for over 9 years and he will for certainly give Betty a stable & happy life. Separation anxiety is probably one of the hardest things to work with & you did your best & are putting Betty’s best interest first which is commendable. I don’t think you will really ever get over this but in time, you definitely will get past it. Thank you for adopting Betty & do everything possible to give her a better life. I wish there were more people in this world that were so dedicated to their pets. The world would be a much better place :-) Monica

      Reply

    • Shannon I cannot begin to tell you how I much I respect you for your ability to make such a heart-wrenching decision. As you may now, I’ve dealt with Dash’s separation anxiety for the last two years and finally sent him to live with my parents where there would be someone who was home at all times. Until someone has experienced a dog with separation anxiety…true separation anxiety….to say that moving would fix the problem just shows how little that poster truly knows about true separation anxiety. Moving is just geography. But you already know that.
      Give yourself an extra hug for me.

      Reply

    • Oh Shannon, I’m so sorry. This brought me to tears :-( But you know what? …some of those are happy tears… because not everyone would put their pets feelings before their own. In fact, most wouldn’t. Pets are smart – she will know you love her unconditionally and that she didn’t do anything “wrong.” She may not understand right now, but once she gets settled into her new home she will realize why her loving, caring owner did this. This is the greatest act of kindness, and soon it will all make sense to her. You are choosing to go through something very emotional and difficult, just to enable her to live stress-free! You are truly an amazing pet-mom.

      Reply

    • Rachel

      I know it’s kind of annoying when you post something like this and people respond saying: “OMG The exact same thing happened to me!!” So I apologize, but it did. I was so excited to get my baby maltese Daisy, but about 2 years into being her parent I knew something was wrong. I took the time to train her, I gave her every minute of my time and never left her when I traveled. I even took her to hair appointments with me (thanks NYC). But my working a 9-5 job was too much for her and over time instead of the separation anxiety fading it got much worse. My neighbors also complained about her crying and barking all day and I felt so helpless, she also hated daycare and would be sick for days afterwards. With a heavy heart, I sucked it up and asked my parents to take her permanently, my Mom has never worked and my Dad is always home too. They are pet-lovers and I used to think they loved Daisy more than me. So it was a perfect fit in the end, but now 4 years later my heart is still a little broken. So I wanted to say good luck and I think you are doing the right thing!!

      Reply

    • Pingback: The Search for Betty White | youwannatalkjive

    • Mommy Dearest

      Finally getting around to read this too after you have Betty White safely at home with you and Pete. If I had read it earlier on, I would have been a total blubbering idiot. Still it touched my heart so much when you listed all the things you would miss about Betty. Now I know you are just thankful you can still do those things with her. You are an incredibly strong person and animal lover. We love you!

      Reply

    Leave a Comment

    Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *